07-07-2003, 01:48 AM
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Contributing Editor Emeritus
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 8,228
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A guy goes into a bar...
A guy goes into a bar with a six foot long newt on a lead.
He sits on a bar stool and the newt rears up and puts his front feet on the bar while the man orders. "I'll take a beer and Tiny here will have whiskey".
The barman serves them both and the man sips his beer and occasionally holds the whisky up to the newt's lips so he can have a drink.
They go on like this most of the evening with the man ordering "A beer for me and a whiskey for Tiny" and when the bar quietens down a bit, the barman says to the man "That's an interesting pet you have there"
The man replies "Yes. he's an amazonian attack newt given to me by the chief of a tribe of south american indians I spent a few years with once. He's very fierce."
The barman looks the seemingly placid and by now slightly drunk newt up and down and says "hmm. he doesn't look all that fierce to me"
Just then, as if on cue, a couple of rowdy guys enter the bar and sit down next to the man and the newt. The nearest one is talking loudly to his friend and gesticulating wildly and knocks the chaps beer over. Rather than apologize for his obvious mistake, he complains that the beer had spilled on his new jeans and threatens to clobber the man.
In an instant the newt is on him and bites at the men's arms and legs till both of the newcomers run screaming and bleeding from the bar.
The barman says "Wow, I've never seen anything like that before. I bet you don't get much trouble with him around do you"
The guy shakes his head and agrees but says that he had better go before the police come back and arrest him for having a dangerous animal in public.
The barman bids him good night and says "Before you go I have just one question. Why the heck do you call him Tiny".
The man replies "Because he's my newt"
:rotfl:
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