04-01-2004, 03:00 PM
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Oracle
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 911
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APRIL FOOLS: Bill Gates Admits Windows Is A Failure, OSX Is
 Attendees at this year's Microsoft MVP Summit watched on in horror when a drunken Bill Gates staggered on stage, with Martini in hand, and announced to a spell bound audience that Windows was a failure, and that Apple Computer's OSX operating system is far superior. One witness, who asked not to be named, described the scene. "At first he just stood there rambling on about losing his car keys, and then began crying. Suddenly he starts shouting "Windows is garbage! It doesn't work worth a damn and crashes like a Grand Piano from a ten story building. We can't make this crappy software work. I give up. Bartender! Poor me a Whiskey and soda....hold the soda."
Amazingly the scene didn't end there. Just moments after falling off the stage and urinating in a punch bowl, Gates turned to the crowd and shouted..."OSX RULES! It makes Windows XP look like Sesame Street on acid! Steve Jobs is a god! All hail the master!". Gates then collapsed on the floor and was quickly carried off my his aides.
Bill Gates inebriated public exhibition left many loyal MVPs disillusioned and frightened. Jason Dunn, editor of Digital Media Thoughts, was found lying on the floor of his Hotel room in a fetal position muttering "There is no god....there is no god".
Microsoft stock collapsed on this news, plunging to a mere ten cents per share.
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