The Best "Zune Doom" Headlines I've Seen

We all know about the crazy Zune 30 failures going on now, and I've been watching as the headlines come zipping into my inbox via Google News Alert. Yes, this is a "Zunetastrophy" (I had to get it on the fun), but I think it's important to remember it's just a media player - let's keep everything in context. My favourite image so far is the one below, courtesy of this VentureBeat article. I'll point out that while I admire MG Siegler's wit, reading an article like this one confirms that he's about as balanced and fair-minded as a car with two wheels. But let's get on with the fun...

Here are the most entertaining headlines I've seen so far today:

1. The Zune Screen Of Death
2. Zune 30s all freezing up at once. Ack! Aliens!
3. 30GB Zunes hibernating for 2009?
4. Zune gloom: hundreds of players failing simultaneously
5. Y2K returns 9 years later to disable Zunes?
6. 30GB Zunes Killing Themselves In Droves
7. 30GB Zune apocalypse arrives as devices enter digital coma
8. The Day Zune Music Died
9. Microsoft's Zune in Worldwide Meltdown
10. 'Zune 30 Midnight Meltdown' Angers Music Lovers
11. The day the ZUNE stood still
12. Zune 30GB players get an early hangover
13. Microsoft facing 'Red Ring of Zune'?
14. Zune Extinction Event: Microsoft Music Players All Freeze Up at Once
15. Microsoft Scrambling To Thaw Zune Freeze
16. The Zune’s New Year’s eve of destruction
17. Zune became self-aware at 2:00 AM December 31, 2008

Did I miss any great headlines?