APRIL FOOLS: Apple Subscriptions The Future!

[David Tucker]

<p>You may be wondering about our new banner. I've long said that if Apple had offered subscription when I was first getting into using MP3 players that I would have jumped on board. Well, fortunately, that's not something any of us have to think about anymore. In order to better compete against the new Zune models expected to be announced this summer, Apple is going on the offensive. To effectively crush the last of their competition from the various other players in the market, Apple is finally going to release an all-you-can-eat subscription service. Highlights include:</p><ul><li>Commentary on each track by Steve Jobs - Before each song, Steve himself gives his thoughts and reviews the song himself. This is why he's really taken some time off from Apple.</li><li> Genius Bar Support - With the vast selection of music on iTunes and the ability to get as much as you want, this is far more choice than most Apple users are used to. In order to help users work through this issue, you can bring your iPod to the Genius Bar where they will pick music for you and download it to your iPod.</li><li>193 Kbps Bit Rate - While competing plans offer music at 192 Kbps, Apple is committed to ensuring the highest possible quality music experience. The 193 Kbps ensures unsurpassed fidelity compared to the meager 192 Kbps offered by other services.</li><li>$29.99 per month - While more expensive than competing plans, let's get real. You're listening to this on an iPod. This is the Maserati of subscription music.</li></ul><p>There's just not any point of staying with Zune after this. Adam and Jason both agree. I'm excited with the new direction we'll be taking!</p>

[utahcon]

Frickin loved it!

Thanks for the laugh.

[The Yaz]

Aren't you concerned that renaming the site will take traffic from Apple Thoughts?

:D:D:D

[USArcher]

"new Zune models expected to be announced this summer"

Cheers!

[ntractv]

Let's all say it together. Happy April Fools Day:D

[Jason Dunn]

Woo Hoo! Go Apple! Go iPod! Woo Hoo! :D:D:D

[David Tucker]

Aren't you concerned that renaming the site will take traffic from Apple Thoughts?

:D:D:D

Don't think it'll be a problem, no :)

Stepping Down; My Apologies (http://applethoughts.com/news/show/93192/stepping-down-my-apologies.html)

[David Tucker]

Frickin loved it!

Thanks for the laugh.

Glad to hear it :D

[David Tucker]

Woo Hoo! Go Apple! Go iPod! Woo Hoo! :D:D:D

So how painful was that to say? :p

[Jason Dunn]

So how painful was that to say? :p

I'm still using a tongue scraper to get rid of the dirty Jobsian Kool Aid taste. :D

[David Tucker]

So does that mean you're not going to miss the "Steve Jobs commentary"? :D

[Alber1690]

Well I'm proud to say I was the first to jump ship and pay the $29.99 to listen to Steve's oh-so-pleasing voice. He even personally left a message on my new iPod Shuffle and offered me an extra 2 Kbps if I paid an additional "generous premium" of $14.99. I only had to speak my decision to my new Shuffle...but...regardless whether I'd say "yes" or "no," Steve's congratulatory voice track would play and thank me for being a supreme Apple follower...how convinient eh? I'll never make the mistake of paying less for what appears to be a perfectly OK product ever again...

[doogald]

Commentary on each track by Steve Jobs - Before each song, Steve himself gives his thoughts and reviews the song himself. This is why he's really taken some time off from Apple.

That's funny - I heard that it's a subscription, but no matter what you chose, Steve's chosen some songs that are better than yours, and that's what they download.

[David Tucker]

That's funny - I heard that it's a subscription, but no matter what you chose, Steve's chosen some songs that are better than yours, and that's what they download.

I'll never make the mistake of paying less for what appears to be a perfectly OK product ever again...

You two gave me one more good laugh before going to bed. ;)