Significant Others & Technology Spending

[Jon Westfall]

My Fiance is really one of the most wonderful people in the world. Not only does she put up with me, she also lets me buy things that I probably shouldn't, and indulges me in a W?BIC lifestyle.

So I wondered - how many others enjoy this kind of relationship with a significant other? Can you buy the toys you want or are you limited in your spending (Note: I assume you have the money to spend and your only hold-back would be the other person).

I predict that, given the amount of turn-over among PPC models we all seem to have, most are lucky like me.

[Kati Compton]

Husband and I keep our money separate so it's our own business what we spend our money on.

But we tend to basically agree on money things anyway.

[Underwater Mike]

Kati, if you don't mind a nosy question, how do you handle joint expenses like housing, etc? And do you and your spouse earn at similar levels, or is there a big income disparity? Just wondering b/c I have some friends for whom separate accounts work well, but they all have pretty equal incomes. For couples with a big earning disparity but equal sharing of expenses, one spouse might wind up with a lot less left over.

FWIW, my opinion has always been that everything should go into one account...


Husband and I keep our money separate so it's our own business what we spend our money on.

But we tend to basically agree on money things anyway.

[drop]

Same here. Separate accounts.

I don't buy much anyway. REALLY :mrgreen: .

[maximus]

Cut all expenses (mortgage, food, utilities, etc. etc. etc.) from my salary, and what is left is going to a join saving account. Her income goes directly to the join saving account.

We consider my salary as the expendable income, and hers as saving. Much easier to manage a single account, than bothering with my-money-your-money thingie.

[Vidge]

My partner & I have always decided together on things to purchase, going back some 23 years when we were both broke. Even though we have signficantly more resources today, we still discuss buying things first. But as two adults with no kids, we tend to indulge the other in whatever we want. So yes, I can buy what I want.

PS - one single checking account for household items (mortgage, utilities, car payments, etc). Separate checking accounts for our play money.

[Kati Compton]

Kati, if you don't mind a nosy question, how do you handle joint expenses like housing, etc? And do you and your spouse earn at similar levels, or is there a big income disparity? Just wondering b/c I have some friends for whom separate accounts work well, but they all have pretty equal incomes. For couples with a big earning disparity but equal sharing of expenses, one spouse might wind up with a lot less left over.

FWIW, my opinion has always been that everything should go into one account...

We have a joint checking account that we replenish as needed for joint expenses. The bank teller didn't appreciate my marijuana joke as I wrote "JOINT" on the ATM card for the joint account.

We currently contribute equally, though in the past when our income levels have been different, we did different proportions. We'd adjust again as needed. The primary reason is to make sure that we can each spend our own money if we want (after having paid bills, contributed appropriately to retirement funds, etc). Plus, we both see that we're directly contributing to the household.

A technique that might work for couples with unbalanced income levels could be to make the joint account the main depository where all income goes, and then pay an "allowance" to each person every month (if possible).

Either way, each person gets some discretionary income. It's just different when the money is "mine" instead of "ours", and I would be hesitant to give that up completely.

It also helps for cases when each spouse has similar spending LEVELS, but different types of spending. That way they have their own amount they're allowed so spend however they want. If one spouse has a thing for PDAs, fine. If another has a thing for shoes, golf equipment, stereo systems, DVDs, that's fine too. It causes less fighting as long as the joint budget is met (at least, in our case).

For example, my husband is all for me getting a small form factor system to replace my current PC. But he thinks the model I'm looking at is too expensive. But that's too bad, because it's my money, not his. ;)

[frankenbike]

My wife and I also have separate money plus accounts for joint expenses. It's worked for us for the past 15 years (10 years actually married).

I can spend whatever I want on technology, but she reserves the right to roll her eyes or say "You are such a geek."

But then I remind her we did meet at a science fiction convention, and have pure geek occupations (we both work in animation).

[JvanEkris]

My wife and i have a similar construction as Kati describes, it has been very succesful in the last 8 years. We both have our own things we like to buy, and this saves us a lot of time argueing about if it is allowed to be bought anyway.

On the other hand, she does have a say in what enters our living room, so some toys need her approval as well (sometimes democracy is not a good model to use in a household :( ) before entrering the livingroom. Basically we have a fierce discussion about the conditions it should meet before enterence of the joint rooms in the house before i may continue to bring the new playthingy into the house. So the stereoset ended up with smaller speakers (quality stayed the same, just the price went up) and my digital video recorder ended up with a much beter-looking exterior than originaly anticipated (but with a bigger pricetag).

I do like to consult my wife first, she does work as a conscience for me. She always asks: do you really need it? Are you going to use it anyway? Isn't this like the last thing you bought? Isn't it a bit too expensive for just a toy? Especially her frowning face expression makes you doubt, and i do get laughed at when i'm wrong. Just a small mental barrier i have to cross to make sure i'm really commited to the toy.....

Jaap

[maximus]

Ah, the joy of married life :)

For us, everything is simple. We have our own domains. When it comes to techno/mechanical/electrical stuffs, she usually left everything to me. When it comes to fashion/interior/space/ambience/etc. I always left everything to her. She has a much better taste than me. We need to discuss only about the budget on the items that we are going to buy.

But when we expect to spend a lot of money, especially when purchasing an item that crossed both domains, we share responsibilities. When buying a car, for example. I choose the brand/model/trim level, and she choose the color/interior/film. Then I got to choose the extra accessories (18" wheels, xenon headlights, etc.) ... Works for us :)

[Mitch D]

I actually had to think about this before I answered it (strange isn't it?) but my wife tends to be open to me buying new toys but she doesn't always approve of my spending habits and is very open to letting me know when she does not approve.

But in the end as long as the bills are paid she tends not to complain.... much. :wink: