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dean_shan
07-23-2004, 05:53 PM
Now it's not afternoon for me but I know for other it is. I always like it when there is some Jokes on friday. Here are some bar jokes for others who enjoy the FAJs (Friday Afternoon Jokes).


Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost
my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes,
I'm positive..."

A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

DiGiTYZED
07-23-2004, 06:05 PM
A rabbi, a priest and bigfoot walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

actually this is someone's signature, forgot who though

JackTheTripper
07-23-2004, 06:21 PM
A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve strings here." The string says "Hey, that's biased. You can't do that!" The bartender says he has the right to refuse service and picks up the string and throws him out on the street.

The string wouldn't stand for this so he picked himself up, brushed himself off, tied himself in a knot at the waist and frizzled up his top half and walked back inside.

He walked straight up to the bar and ordered a drink. The bartender says "Didn't I just throw you out of here?" The string answers "No." Bartender says "Ya I did. You're that piece of string!" The string answers "No.... I'm a frayed knot."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the barender, "Hey,you wanna hear a blonde joke? "

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things ...
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde gal.
3 - I'm a 6 foot tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke? "

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and declares, "Nah...Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

dean_shan
07-23-2004, 06:26 PM
Nices ones Jack, I knew you'd add some.

JackTheTripper
07-23-2004, 06:29 PM
Two men walk into a bar. You think the second guy would have seen it!

Or....

A guy walks into a bar and says "OUCH!"


And of course.....


A horse walks into a bar......

dean_shan
07-23-2004, 06:47 PM
A horse walks into a bar......
And....

I don't get it?

JackTheTripper
07-23-2004, 06:51 PM
Ya never heard that one?


A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?"

Pat Logsdon
07-23-2004, 07:28 PM
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?"
Rick Ocasek walks into a bar...

:mrgreen: Too obscure? :wink:

dean_shan
07-23-2004, 07:30 PM
:mrgreen: Too obscure? :wink:
Yes very.

DiGiTYZED
07-23-2004, 08:05 PM
more jokes please. you guys are making this raining friday go faster. more more more

ironguy
07-23-2004, 08:50 PM
A man walks into a bar and sits on a stool. While nursing his drink, an absolutley gorgeeous woman sildes up to him and coos in his ear, "I'll do ANYTHING for $200."

"ANYTHING?", he says.

"ABSOLUTLEY!", she cries.

He pulls out his wallet, hands her $200 and says, "Paint my house."

dean_shan
07-23-2004, 08:51 PM
more jokes please. you guys are making this raining friday go faster. more more more

Crazy it's raining where I'm at too. OK his your new joke.

Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."

The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."

The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some plasma."

The waitress looks up and says, "Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?"

MacBriar
07-23-2004, 09:32 PM
Jack that blonde joke is excellent, I will have to print it out and stick up in our office (where incidently there are currently 4 blondes working - and get a hard time).

Ewan

JackTheTripper
07-23-2004, 09:35 PM
OK, so nobody get's all bent this joke has two punchlines....



A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed.

A fellow came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "150." So the robot proceeded to make conversation about quantum physics, string theory, atomic chemistry, and so on. The man listened intently and thought, "This is really cool."

The man decided to test the robot. He walked out the bar, turned around, and came back in for another drink. Again, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man responded, "100." So the robot started talking about football, baseball, and so on. The man thought to himself, "Wow, this is really cool."

The man went out and came back in a third time. As before, the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?"

The man replied, "50."

The robot then said, "So, are you going to vote for Bush again?

The robot then said, "So, are you Democrats really going to vote for John Kerry?"

dean_shan
07-23-2004, 09:53 PM
Nice one Jack. I need to tell that one to my Aunt.

DiGiTYZED
07-23-2004, 09:58 PM
OK, so nobody get's all bent this joke has two punchlines....

The robot then said, "So, are you going to vote for Bush again?

The robot then said, "So, are you Democrats really going to vote for John Kerry?"

good one. i like that.

come on people 1 hour and 2 minutes to go. help me out here, i'm dying! MORE [PLEASE]!

Janak Parekh
07-23-2004, 10:40 PM
The robot then said, "So, are you going to vote for Bush again?

The robot then said, "So, are you Democrats really going to vote for John Kerry?"
Something's missing here... what's the last IQ supposed to be? :P

--janak

dean_shan
07-24-2004, 12:01 AM
Here's another for you DiGiTYZED.

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."

One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."

c38b2
07-24-2004, 12:37 AM
The robot then said, "So, are you going to vote for Bush again?

The robot then said, "So, are you Democrats really going to vote for John Kerry?"
Something's missing here... what's the last IQ supposed to be? :P

--janak
Those are the two punchlines, Janak. Pick either one based on your political leanings. :wink:

Janak Parekh
07-24-2004, 05:17 AM
Those are the two punchlines, Janak. Pick either one based on your political leanings. :wink:
Oh, I've already picked the correct one. ;) I just thought it'd be fun to speculate on another IQ.

--janak

ironguy
07-24-2004, 03:42 PM
Walks in and says his IQ is 10.
The robot bartender says, "So why did you color your hair brown?"