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View Full Version : Top 12 Things A Klingon Programmer Would Say

Ed Hansberry
02-10-2004, 02:28 AM
12. Specifications are for the weak and timid!

11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!

10. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.

9. Indentation?! -- I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!

8.What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.

7. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.

6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.

5. I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again.

4. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code!

3. By filing this SPR you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!

2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!

1. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!
Janak Parekh
02-10-2004, 02:47 AM
7. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' -- they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
:rotfl:

I have to teach my students the basics of procedural abstraction tomorrow. I think I'm going to stick this on the slides.

--janak
David Prahl
02-10-2004, 03:02 AM
Very similar quotes here:
http://www.pocketpcthoughts.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=15415
(taken from a post Jason made here May 14, 2002)

"My program has just dumped Stova Core!"
:lol:
ntractv
02-10-2004, 03:40 AM
1. Our users will know fear and cower before our software. Ship it! Ship it, and let them flee like the dogs they are!

That is too funny. Not to start anything, but, in a practical manner of approach this could be the company slogan for MS if they were the Klingon Empire.
David Prahl
02-10-2004, 03:49 AM
in a practical manner of approach this could be the company slogan for MS if they were the Klingon Empire.

(image volunarily removed)
Talldog
02-10-2004, 12:43 PM
Re: #11, isn't gagh a Klingon delicacy? I don't think that's the intended meaning here.
rhmorrison
02-10-2004, 01:01 PM
Re: #11, isn't gagh a Klingon delicacy? I don't think that's the intended meaning here.
It was a TYPO, he meant to write GAGA... :lol:
Jimmy Dodd
02-10-2004, 02:44 PM
2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!


Klingon, hell! All programmers say this!

(and we mean it, too)
Jon Westfall
02-10-2004, 03:37 PM
All computer users are closet Klingons... after all, we are a race that cloaks ourselves until its to our advantage (lurking), we think nothing hailing each other from the comfort of our own starships (laptops/ppcs) and lastly, who around her wouldn't find her http://si-fi-nut.com/Lursa.gif or him http://www.peteranthonyholder.com/images/worf.gif hot?