Always connected, never focused

[Andy Sjostrom]

Do you remember the last time you were really focused on doing just one thing? Have you noticed that it has become much harder to stay focused? No, I am not asking because I recently turned thirty, but because I am that much more connected now than before. Mobile phones, SMS, wireless e-mail, Instant Messaging, VPN access to the office from home and so on. It is an undisputable fact that I can be reached almost anytime and anywhere, and I am. I can also reach almost anyone else the same way, and I do.<br /><br />Thus, I feel that it is more difficult today to stay focused on what I do, because of the improved digital connectivity we have available now. So I have started asking myself the questions: Where am I really? Here and with my friends, co-workers and family or there with everyone else? I once read about a study that concluded that if the phone rings, and you're in the middle of a conversation with someone else, in real life, nine times out of ten, you would say that the real life conversation was more important.<br /><br />So, if you recognize the feeling of being scattered all over the place, that it's hard to stay focused and that you rarely feel that you are present mentally where you are physically, this is for you:<br />• have the mobile phone turned off a few hours every day<br />• if you are in the middle of a conversation, and the phone rings, don't always pick it up<br />• if the phone rings, don't always pick it up period.<br />• every once in a while, sign out from Instant Messaging even if you are connected and working at your computer<br />• sign out from your e-mail application a couple of times every day, so that you won't be tempted to check e-mail every two minutes<br />• plan at least one weekend every month without going online<br />• don't bring your Pocket PC with you every time you leave the house<br />• go back to the habit of giving flowers or [insert nice thing here] regurarly to your partner<br />• spend more time with your kids, and while you do, don't think about other things<br />• take a walk every now and then, not to get things but just to take a walk<br /><br />Personally, this list is a challenge. Do you feel same way?

[kaiden.1]

I took a time management seminar about 2 months agoand they addressed all these issues. It was really good, they asked us to choose 4 itmes that we felt were the core or key most important items that were associated with our professional jobs, and 4 items that were in our personal lives. Then every day we are to focus and take care fo those things first, and then when each one of them were taken care of, then we moved on to the other still important but less important things compaired to the others. This has really focused me in good, I am now accomplishing twice as much because I am prioritized in the proper direction. It amazes me how easy and how fast I got off track. The Phone, just everything in general can scream for your attention and if you are not careful you find yourself refocusing on the lesser items because they seem to be important, and over time your focus gets lost on those items, pulling you away from what really matters most! I think that it is good to take a step back once in a while and re-evaluate your status to prioritze and focus, we all get pulled off guard, and over time wonder how we ever got off on the lesser things. I have sinced given the same time management program to my entire company and it has really helped us to move forward out of some ruts. On a personal level it has been good for me to re focus on my family and other personl goals that had gotten lost over time in the day in and out shuffle.

Thanks for the post. It is a good reminder.

[Ed Hansberry]

I agree. I find it hard to stay on one thing. Well, gotta run. Two IM windows flashing, an SMS waiting and just got a new email. :wink:

[Ekkie Tepsupornchai]

This sounds a lot like that book titled something like "7 habits of successful people"... can't remember the title exactly...

The overall message I see in all of these time mgmt workshops is a potential life changer...

Focus on what's important and not what's urgent!

[Paragon]

I think this is something that is very much on topic for many people these days. With communication coming from so many different sources all at the same time it can become overwhelming for some. I think the main key is to prioritize For some people this is very difficult to do, for others it is very easy. I'm very lucky I can do this on autopilot it is second nature for me. I know a lot off people who do a dozen things at the same time, do them lousy, and seldom get any of them done on time. Others do one thing at a time as it needs to be done, and move on to the next. They end up doing them all very well since they were focused and they also get them done in a timely fashion, since they didn't waste valuable time doing something that didn't need to be done till a latter time.

Ok what's next......:)

Dave

[marlof]

I'm with you Andy. I call it being "detached" and I quite like it. Every now and then. Just like I like being "attached" every now and then.

[Foo Fighter]

Have noticed that it has become much harder to stay focused?

I have noticed that the more connected I am, the more I lose concentration on what I am doing at the moment. But I think...tha.... . . .

[Eciton]

Thank God I'm not alone. Or should that be, I wish I was alone? ;)

Seriously, you know it's bad when you get up and the very first thing you do is check your email, and the very last thing you do at night is... one last email check.

I'm asking myself the same questions: do I *really* need to be phone-able at 3am? Do I *really* need to check my email when I'm out of the house for an afternoon? I have this clinging need to know if someone's tried to contact me, and I think I need to get out more :D

The thing I love about PPCThoughts is that stuff like this gets posted. Good job guys, and keep it up.

[welmoed]

I was right with you until I got to "plan at least one weekend a month without going on line."

WHAT?!?

And since my reaction was that visceral, I know it must be something I need to do. I think I will declare the first weekend of every month Off Line Time.

Thanks for the very important reminder about what's really important.

--Welmoed

[fulltilt]

My wife just made me disappear for the weekend to a coastal retreat - where there is no GPRS/GSM coverage and my iPaq is out of range....
It took some getting use to, in the end very therapeutic.

Being so connected(ie. online), I find myself working 15+ hours every day - need to be reminded about what is important every now and then.
:!:

[bblock]

And here I thought I was getting Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)... really.

[Brad Adrian]

I've always been a big fan of the "Seven Habits of Highly Successful People." I think Stephen Covey hits every nail right on the head.

That said, though, it is still a struggle balancing being "connected" and being offline. Without sounding morbid, I periodically undergo the mental excercise of writing what I would like my obituary to look like and compare it to what a totally honest obituary would look like:

"Always willing to drop what he was doing in order to lend a helping hand..."
vs.
"Known for having so many projects going that he was totally unreachable..."

"Always showed compassion and patience with his family and friends..."
vs.
"Let the pressures of a busy lifestyle create a short-tempered attitude..."

"Participated in many community projects and spent time with his church youth group..."
vs.
"Kept his nose glued to his computer monitor 16 hours a day..."

It's a good exercise to go through.

[Rob Alexander]

I'm always interested in hearing how others manage their priorities because that's such an important issue these days, and one which modern communications makes that much harder. One useful concept that I use is to try to differentiate between 'importance' and 'urgency'. Many of us spend all of our time responding to things that are urgent but not important, while never getting around to things that are important but not urgent. By allowing urgency to be your master, instead of importance, you tend to fritter away your time on things that really don't matter in achieving your larger goals of a good marriage, successful career, etc. (the 8 important items that kaiden.1 mentioned). In determining whether something is genuinely important, just ask yourself what the impact will be to your &lt;marriage, career, etc> if you ignore it and don't do it. You'll be amazed how many things you spend your time on to which the answer to that question is 'none'.

The telephone is a great example. Why do we stop whatever we're doing to answer the phone? We don't even know who's there and more often than not, it turns out to be a waste of time. I believe that is the ultimate in responding to urgency, and the strength of the compulsion to answer shows you just how strong the pull of ugency is.

Perhaps I look at this stuff differently than most. I always considered communication technologies to be there for my convenience, not for everyone else's. I'm much more interested in being able to initiate communication than in receiving it. For example, I don't exactly hide my mobile number, but I don't give it out freely either. I don't want it to ring a lot and it doesn't. If it does ring and I'm busy, I don't answer it. Similarly, if someone's in my office, I generally don't answer the phone. I think it's rude to my visitor and the caller can always leave a message if it's important.

I also run MS Messenger, but only have three people in my list because they're the only ones I want to be able to interrupt me. It's not that I'm hard to get a hold of. All my phones have answering systems and anyone can email me. I always return calls and emails. But I just don't think those things should be controlling my life.

[kidventus]

Reminds me of a blog entry...Best one about subject... best line:

However, I also believe that we will learn that books are always best when you can turn the pages with your hand, that a rose from an old love cannot be pressed and preserved in the seams of a Pocket PC. That a post card is better than a wireless text message from the beach.. and that no matter how much I see Ben through a video camera and how much he sees me... light from his face to my eye is the best use of the speed of light, not to go from sea to shining sea. :roll:

You can read the article "When Not To Use Computers" at:

http://www.kidventus.com/thinktank/html/Technology/articles/Article_0825200201.htm

[PlayAgain?]

Personally, this list is a challenge. Do you feel same way?

Personally, I think that this is the most sensible thing anybody has ever said on this or any other technology based forum.

[Kevin Tea]

Now what we need is a PDA program to tell us how to do this :twisted:

[nliokal]

I'm with you Andy 100% ...

[Mark (NL)]

And here I thought I was getting Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)... really.

Imagine you really have AD(H)D and than also have all this stuff to deal with, can make life really a challange ;-) I tend to "forget" what I was doing before that phonecall came in and stuff like that!
BTW ADD is not something you "get", something that you inherit...

[lspinellijr]

dont give out your cell phone number except to those who REALLY need it. ie, never give it to customers or people that would interrupt your personal life.

[Chris Forsberg]

You're right!

If you also communicate your priorities (not answering your phone, etc), it makes it easier for other people to understand why they can't always reach you. And those who care for you can think: "ok, he's not answering his phone/e-mail/IM/SMS because he needs some time offline". I try to "book" time with myself, and also to communicate that "I'm busy talking a walk (reading a book/etc) alone this afternoon, but I can call you after that". Most of my friends and family appreciate that because they care for me.

[Ed Hansberry]

The phone answering thing is one area I have down pat. I haven't ansered my phone at home in a couple of years. I always let the machine get it. The people that are important have my cell number and I make extensive use of caller ID on that. Phones are SO intrusive. :x Most people I want to communicate with are finally learning email is the best method for communicating effectively with me.

[dma1965]

I just got back from a camping trip this past weekend 8700 feet up in the Sierra Nevada mountains where I realized, the moment I arrived, that I had absolutely no connectivity whatsoever. I arrived on Friday evening and shut off my then useless cell phone and for the first time in over a year put my iPaq in my car, and did not touch it until Sunday afternoon when I went home (the GPS comes in real handy in the middle of nowhere). God was it ever refreshing !!!!!! I honestly was able to get in touch with why I really exist in this world, and was able to enjoy the majestic beauty of silence and all the elements which go with being out in the boonies. I really thought I would miss my always connected lifestyle, but I did not give it a second thought until I was back home in my Berkeley apartment. Of course, Pocketpcthoughts was the first site I went to on my WiFi connected Pocket PC, and there was this thought, big as life. Being an Uber-Geek is an exciting lifestyle in its own right (something only other Uber-Geeks can fully understand), but being a caveman was, as my good old Irish friend and camping comrade put it "The Biz". Thank God for good old tech driven California's commitment with keeping vast areas of this gorgeous state completely unreachable. Without it, we would all probably die, but not before we checked that last email ! 8)

[Jonathan1]

another thing you should add to the list is go without a watch every once and a while. Its nice not having to worry about the time or even knowing what it is.

I myself try at least once a month to stay away from anything that has to do with computers or tech. This includes phones, computers, pocket pc, television, radio. Everything and sit back and relax outside with a nice analog book.



On a side note I find it hilarious how dependant many people are when it comes to tech. Its almost down right pitiful. Last winter the power went out in our townhouse area. The neighbor to the immediate right of our house was panicking, she came knocking on our door about 15 minutes after the power went out, because she was scare that she was going to freeze to death. Never mind the fact that a heated house can stay warm for hours before it really starts to cool off. Never mind the fact that every townhouse has a fireplace. The neighbor 2 doors down and across the court couldn't figure out how to open his garage door manually. :roll:

And the one I'm still chuckling over. (Though I haven't confirmed it) One of the neighbors in the next court over went to ATT and bitched that her phone was out when the power was out. She when off on someone and talked about it at this year's association meeting. I know for a fact that my phone didn't go out so I asked if her phone was cordless. Yep.....idiot.

It seems as tech progresses the stupidity factor to do the most basic, menial tasks/chores decreases. So what? In 50 years you will have people panicking if their wireless goes out?!?! Oh my god what am I going to do?!!? :roll:

[karen]

A very timely post.

I recently have made a committment to NOT plan on working on the weekend. I telecommute to most of my clients and seem to be working 16 hours a day because I don't get away from my home office. It hasn't been too bad, as long as I can get over the 'guilt' of hearing my laptop calling out to work just a little bit. Slowly I'm getting some life back at home.

However, this line

don't bring your Pocket PC [or cellphone] with you every time you leave the house

...is just an invitation for my car to run out of gas on a desolate road, to wreck my car, or for someone to ask me for contact information that will lead to a multimillion dollar contract. Seriously, I only NEED to use my phone when I've left it at home or in my briefcase. :P

..or is this just a symptom of being addicted to all this online stuff.

Karen

[David McNamee]

another thing you should add to the list is go without a watch every once and a while. Its nice not having to worry about the time or even knowing what it is.
I'll second that. I stopped wearing a wristwatch four years ago. I have since become a much calmer person.

[jdhill]

Here's a novel idea: Leave your cell phone OFF.

My cell phone is used almost exclusively for outbound calls. I don't give people my cell phone number and I don't expect to receive any calls so I leave it turned off. It has voice mail on it and once a day I turn the cell phone on for a few minutes to check for voice mail, but other than that it is off.

Try it, you'll like it !!!

[Janak Parekh]

I agree with Karen: I think keeping technology in your pocket is a useful thing for the emergency. Even when I'm taking the weekend off, and maybe I want to call a friend to hook up with them, the cell phone and PPC are immensely useful during my "off" time. I don't see this as a bad thing.

However, what I do see as a bad thing is people's compulsion to want to get interrupted. If I'm speaking to someone, and my cell phone vibrates, I often won't pick it up unless the conversation is very informal. It can wait - there's always voicemail. I don't know why people must compulsively pick up the phone and chat their lives out.

When I code, I "go away on AIM", stop responding to the cell phone, close the door, etc. It's not that hard... :)

Jonathan1 - re watches - interesting and valid point - and it's much worse if you do mass-transit. I had to literally take my watch off and put it in the bag to train myself not to look at it every minute. I now carry it on my wrist again, but don't stress myself looking at it too much except for catching the morning train.

It's all about priority management!

--bdj

[Eciton]

Great point about watches. When I've forgotten mine in the morning, I feel so naked and get such an unnerving sense of missing something. I might do it more often.

Now that my iPAQ has done a spontaneous hard reset and is waiting to go back to Compaq, I'm really going cold-turkey with the enforced separation. It sneaks up on how how dependent you become.

Thanks to all you helpful people, I'm going to try to reduce my dependence on technology. Jeez, this is like Technology Anonymous ;)

[Janak Parekh]

Great point about watches. When I've forgotten mine in the morning, I feel so naked and get such an unnerving sense of missing something. I might do it more often.
Absolutely, it was impossible at first to deal with it, but now I can not look at my watch whenever I want, which is a great thing.

Now that my iPAQ has done a spontaneous hard reset and is waiting to go back to Compaq, I'm really going cold-turkey with the enforced separation. It sneaks up on how how dependent you become.
Now, I don't agree with long-term enforced separation with my PPC. I recently had to send my 3870 back to Compaq three times (first key buttons, then backlight and missing record button on the repaired unit). I was without the unit for nearly a month, and I found myself regressing into the "I can memorize it or write it on a slip of paper" habits from my pre-PDA days. Put bluntly, it sucked. I was the happiest guy around when I got it back. There's nothing so stressing as to remembering a piece of information you knew your PDA would be able to answer in a couple of seconds...

Honestly, none of us want to do without technology. We just have to learn to balance the use of these tools so that we can focus on what we consider to be priorities as well - cell phones, IM, and other immediate presence devices in particular.

--bdj

[Rirath]

Personally I like being attached to technology, I wouldn't have it any other way. There's no way I'd leave my PPC at home, or stay offline for a weekend. The only time that happens is when my cable modem goes down, that's my offtime. I have no problem staying focused, and the times I do let my attention drift are the times I'm better off for it. Why sit around tapping your shoe wasting time when you could be doing better things if you had only brought your PPC with you.

As for watches, I can't stand it when I leave mine at home. I check it every 10 minutes or less probably. It has a calculator, address book, timer, stopwatch, and a bunch of other features I use daily. Going on lunch break? Start the stop watch. PC taking awhile to complete a task? Start the timer. Etc. I'm perfectly happy checking my watch frequently, it's everyone else that seems to be bugged by it.

What I will agree with you on however, is instant messaging, phones, and cell phones. I have Trillian running only when I feel I want to contact someone. Other than that, I leave it off. Even if I'm set to away, just having it on and there gnaws at the corner of my mind. I guess I worry I'll be interupted from something important for something worthless. I almost never answer the telephone. I check the caller id, and if it's a random person the caller id gets it. When I do answer it, I'm off as quickly as possible. Phones bug me. I only turn my cell phone on when I have someone to call, or expect someone to.

I guess the summary is, if you only use your technology when and where you need it, you won't burn yourself out on it. Technology should enhance life, not get in the way of it. If you find yourself answering your cell during a conversation, playing solitare on the pocket pc for no good reason when you should be working, or spending your life in IM's, then you need some self control. Other than that, if you simply want a break from your technology to go nature watching or whatever you people do, to each his own. :roll: I'm perfectly happy being a tech freak.

[rlobrecht]

Now what we need is a PDA program to tell us how to do this :twisted:

Franklin Covey has just released their latest time management porgram, and this one is well integrated into Outlook. The PocketPC portion only has the most basicparts of the application (FC extensions to the Task application, and a Daily Record of Events application) but Outlook has it all. Big Rocks/Small Rocks, Sharpen the Saw, Goals, Roles, etc. Check out the 30-day full version demo at http://www.franklincovey.com/planplus/download.html

[zylark]

I've always been a tech nut. If it's not cutting edge, it's not my cup of tea. I have however learned to moderate myself. Back when (I think it was 1992) I was on a holiday in Cyprus, and my watch got broken whilst doing a stupid stunt at the swimming pool. Beeing on a vacation I figured I cuold buy myself a new watch when I got home. What happened tho' was that during that little week of timelessness, i got accustomed to it. I have never wore a watch since. In some ways I'm still on vacation :)

As for my mobile, first one bought 'round 1995 i think, I went totally bananas for the first 6 months or so. My phone bill looked like the national budget... I soon learned two simple little tricks. First, you don't need to take it with you anywhere and anytime. Second, if you're already focused around a train of though, like a conversation, programming job or something else that requires some amount of focus, do not answer the phone. Or check that recently arrived SMS message you got. Some people have looked at me in astonishment as I have ignored phonecalls and messages. They think of it as rude. Go figure :)

As for my ipaq. I bring it with me everywhere, always. I can't live without it. It contains my life dammit. Everything I can't remember is there. Phonenumbers, adresses, articles, programming projects, rigging details, tour dates. I'll never go back to the "loose notes in my backpocket" system again. And my PPC comes in *really* handy when bored at some god-awfull meeting :)