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View Full Version : APRIL FOOLS: Apple Introduces iCrunch, the Breakfast Cereal for Elitist Snobs


Kent Pribbernow
04-01-2005, 07:00 PM
Apple is capitalizing on the wild success of it's hip iPod digital audio player by introducing a stylish new breakfast cereal created specifically for iPod users; iCrunch. According to Apple, the cereal is really nothing more than bargain brand Corn flakes repackaged in a sleek white box with pretty fonts, but priced at more than twice the MSRP of competing dry cereal products. In addition iCrunch seems to have no nutritional value whatsoever. Eating it, however, will make you feel superior to everyone else, and that, says Apple VP Phil Schiller, is where the value comes in. "Who cares whether it tastes good, or is good for you? It's all about image. That's what matters" Schiller said. "Just knowing that I am eating something that is cooler than everyone else's breakfast just makes me feel better about myself, and more importantly is shows others that I am better than they are and more sophisticated."

Reaction from industry analysts was mixed. Rob Enderle from the Enderle Group had this to say. "Bwahahahahha! You have to be fvcking kidding me?!!? Is this a joke or something?". Stephen Baker from IDC says that Apple's move into the breakfast cereal space is interesting, but the product doesn't measure up to expectations. "I can't believe there are no Apple chips in this cereal. I mean, you would expect cereal from a company named Apple to at least have some kind of Apple flavoring or pieces in the product. That's a missed opportunity."

In a related story, Apple attorneys from the law firm of Dewey Screwem & Howe have filed a $20 million suite against Proctor & Gamble for its competing Apple Jacks cereal which the company says violates the trademark on its corporate identity.

http://www.digitalmediathoughts.com/images/icrunch.jpg

ctmagnus
04-01-2005, 07:10 PM
I assume it's an origami-style box? ;)

Jason Dunn
04-01-2005, 07:29 PM
And, of course, the cereal will only fit on a rare, expensive spoon.

And it STILL won't play WMA!!! :lol:

Phoenix
04-01-2005, 07:30 PM
:lol: Love the slogan on the box! :lol:

Felix Torres
04-01-2005, 08:51 PM
Talk about knowing your customers!!
Got that one right! :wink:

I imagine it has lots of fiber and is very low in calories.
Probably less than your typical diet soda. :twisted:

The anorexic hollywood starlets are already all queueing up for the release of this first, nutrient-free breakfast cereal.

Great follow-up to the Shuffle.

Darius Wey
04-02-2005, 02:47 AM
Is there an iCrunch Photo? I wouldn't mind my cereal having a bit more colour. Also, any word on an iCrunch Mini? I've always fancied bite-sized pieces.

And the list of iWishes go on and on and on...

Felix Torres
04-02-2005, 03:29 AM
Is there an iCrunch Photo? I wouldn't mind my cereal having a bit more colour. Also, any word on an iCrunch Mini? I've always fancied bite-sized pieces.

And the list of iWishes go on and on and on...

They're working on a mini version.
It should be announced on December 28th at a restaurant TBA somewhere in mexico.
It will come in a revolutionary form factor never seen before; a box that can become a bowl with just one cut and a bit of folding.
Yet another 100% original Apple innovation.

The photo version, however, has been delayed.
It seems the laser-printed images of Job's face came out flakey.

Other than that, everything else was grrrrreaattt!

Kent Pribbernow
04-02-2005, 03:43 AM
Other than that, everything else was grrrrreaattt!

I wonder if there is any connection with the upcoming release of Tiger? iCrunch and Tiger......they're Grrrrrrrrrrrreat!


http://www.digitalmediathoughts.com/images/frosted_flakes_box_front.jpg