Oh boy...BIG question. I, like you, have a lot of DVDs and love movies...and I'd love to be able to get away from the current system I have of "walk to the shelf, put the DVD in the drive". I still haven't seen the "perfect" system myself. The Escient stuff seems insanely expensive to me - I think it's mostly sold by high-end home theatre installers to people who don't know any better. Personally I don't think DVD changers are the answer - anything based on the physical limitation of how many discs it can hold will be out-grown. I think ripping the DVDs to a hard drive is the best way of doing this. But the question then becomes, what's the best way to rip the DVDs, into what format, and what's the best way to view/manage them. DVDlobby looks OK, but I don't think the user interface is particularly elegant. There are dozens of applications out there for managing DVD collections, but I have yet to find one that really nails it in terms of elegance, simplicity, and functionality.
I wish I could be of more help, but since I haven't found the right solution for myself, I can't really firmly point to any one solution out there that's the best for others as well.
Hopefully someone else here can help!