I say, play with your food.

[JackTheTripper]

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.

[Jon Westfall]

8O

Wow... I guess I can't argue any of this logic, as you're obviously an expert.

[Janak Parekh]

Wow... I guess I can't argue any of this logic, as you're obviously an expert.
For the record, Jack didn't do this... it's a fairly well-known story in Internet folklore. :)

--janak

[Jon Westfall]

Wow... I guess I can't argue any of this logic, as you're obviously an expert.
For the record, Jack didn't do this... it's a fairly well-known story in Internet folklore. :)

--janak

Well, it doesn't decrease my appreciation - it actually increases it - I was getting worried that I'd seen every piece of internet folklore out there. Nice to know I missed one.

[marcm]

Nice story, I've never heard it. :D On the other hand, i often bite a half of a smartie or M&M, and analyze the core. :wink: I don't do that anymore, but I did it when I was uh... not as mature... :wink:

<font size=0>Sometimes I wonder where the stuff in the Off-Topic forum comes from...</font> :wink:

[Jeff Rutledge]

<font size=0>Sometimes I wonder where the stuff in the Off-Topic forum comes from...</font> :wink:

Sometimes I think it's best not to ask. :mrgreen:

[JackTheTripper]

Wow... I guess I can't argue any of this logic, as you're obviously an expert.
For the record, Jack didn't do this... it's a fairly well-known story in Internet folklore. :)

--janakTrue, it's not mine. And I wasn't going to take credit for it. Just wanted to get a few responses first. but I just had to share cause I hadn't seen it before and it's prolly the funniest thing i've read in weeks.

[Copter]

I have never heard that before either and it was hilarious. Thanx for the amusement.

[DerekAbney]

I thought that was pretty funny too. I'd never heard that either. I wish it were true.

[JustinGTP]

Imagine what happens when two "superior" M&amp;M's are bred together... hehe.

-Justin.

[ctmagnus]

Imagine what happens when two "superior" M&amp;M's are bred together... hehe.

-Justin.

The talking M&amp;M's in the commercial. ;)

[Jon Westfall]

Imagine what happens when two "superior" M&amp;M's are bred together... hehe.

-Justin.

The talking M&amp;M's in the commercial. ;)

With the way those commercials annoy me sometimes - I wish someone would push those two together and see which is of higher breeding.

[Mitch D]

Imagine what happens when two "superior" M&amp;M's are bred together... hehe.

-Justin.

The talking M&amp;M's in the commercial. ;)

If those two are superior I'm switching to Smarties! :wink:

[Jon Westfall]

Imagine what happens when two "superior" M&amp;M's are bred together... hehe.

-Justin.

The talking M&amp;M's in the commercial. ;)

If those two are superior I'm switching to Smarties! :wink:

An M&amp;M with its hard candy shell would easily crush a smarty... which I guess is a grave warning that sometimes brains do not triumph over braun... :mrgreen:

[DerekAbney]

Imagine what happens when two "superior" M&amp;M's are bred together... hehe.

-Justin.

The talking M&amp;M's in the commercial. ;)

If those two are superior I'm switching to Smarties! :wink:

An M&amp;M with its hard candy shell would easily crush a smarty... which I guess is a grave warning that sometimes brains do not triumph over braun... :mrgreen:

Is it weird that when i read how an M&amp;M would crush a smarty, I started nodding my head in agreement without even realizing it?

[Copter]

Heheh... you're not alone there Abney... the pink smartie, not a chance. I can see the destruction so clearly.

[DerekAbney]

I mean, really. Of all the bite sized candies, the smarty really doesn't have much of a chance against any of them. You all with me? Maybe it could beat a dot.

[Jon Westfall]

Somewhere I see some short-of-stature candy exec with dual masters degrees and a doctorate crying...

[ctmagnus]

You know what are good? Galaxy Minstrels. That's what.

They're like Smarties/plain M&amp;Ms only much bigger and with a tougher shell. You can get them in/from the UK (at least).

[karen]

An M&amp;M with its hard candy shell would easily crush a smarty... which I guess is a grave warning that sometimes brains do not triumph over braun... :mrgreen:


WARNING! Foreign language translation error!

Canadian Smartie: Multi coloured candy coated 'chocolate' candy. Looks like an M&amp;M. Comes in colours in which M&amp;Ms are not available. See http://giltphoto.com/ smarties2.htm

US Smartie: Multi colored candy that looks sort of like an Aspirin(tm) with concave tops and bottoms. In Canada, these candies are know as Rockets. See http://www.smarties.com/psmart.htm

Canuck Smartie is M&amp;M like, but I think they taste waxy. And I don't like them due to that taste. US Smarties, I love, especially if they are a bit tart.

For a short list of Canadisms, see http://www.icomm.ca/emily/isms.html

Karen

[Jon Westfall]

Thanks for the info Karen. So would a canadian smartie beat an M&amp;M?

[ctmagnus]

Canadian smarties are weak and flimsy. Almost like "girly" M&amp;M's. But I prefer them over M&amp;M's due to their taste (I find M&amp;Ms to be somewhat bitter and chalky), their thiner shell and the fact that they do "melt in your hand".

[DerekAbney]

Who wants to eat "girly M&amp;Ms"? I'll stick with the manly kind. :roll:

[ctmagnus]

Considering the statement in my previous post that I prefer Smarties over M&amp;M's, guess what I'm eating right now?

(Hint: It's not Smarties.)

[DerekAbney]

Are you eating M&amp;Ms?