Men Learn to Listen to Wives on Big Purchases

[Jason Dunn]

<div class='os_post_top_link'><a href='http://www.boston.com/business/technology/articles/2004/06/28/waf_wife_acceptance_factor/' target='_blank'>http://www.boston.com/business/technology/articles/2004/06/28/waf_wife_acceptance_factor/</a><br /><br /></div><i>"It is a bitter memory for Cameron Smith. He was 25 and newly married. While his wife worked one Saturday, he bought himself an $800 stereo with a credit card, set it up, and spent a blissful afternoon on the futon couch, listening to REM and the Grateful Dead. But a thought occurred to him while driving that evening to pick up his wife: how to explain the stereo? "We came in, and I said, 'Look what I bought, honey!' She took one look at me and said, 'That can go back, right?' Maybe it was more like, 'That can go back.' " The stereo went back. "I learned my lesson," said Smith, a manager at LNS Communications in Cambridge who will be married 10 years in August."</i><br /><br />I thought this was a particularly appropriate topic given the topic of this site. Give the article a read, compare it to your own life, then confess here. :lol:

[sundown]

Well men and women see things a little differently. I bought a rusty 30 year old Army surplus Jeep trailer last year without prior approval from my wife. Cost $650. I saw a wonderful project that I could fix up so we could spend time together camping offroad. She saw an eyesore that will cost many hundreds more to be usable.

Recently we've been talking about getting a second computer and I jumped at an opportunity to buy a new laptop with some expense reimbursements that came back...without checking with my lovely wife first. I was all excited - "Look honey, we're getting a laptop finally!" She rolled her eyes and said something like "oh great, now you can work when we're on vacation, too." Hmmm, well I didn't think about it that way.

Oh there is more but I'll hand someone else the mic....

[BuzzLightyear]

After being married for 8 years and for most of that time either "overlooking" some purchases or being a little economical with the price of my "toys". Imagine my surprise last month when I not only got very little response to buying a 42" Plasma but I also got a £1000 contribution for it :o - then again I think it might have been the 2.5 years of consistant "going on" about wanting one.

So, guys, keep up the pressure :D

Buzz

[Chris Gohlke]

My wife and I have our own budgets for toys (clothes/jewelry and barbies for her and electronics and Star Wars/Star Trek toys for me). There is no asking in our house. In fact, I bought a 65" widescreen HDTV a few months back and she did not even blink. I did feel I had to mention it since it involved rearranging the furniture.

[Suhit Gupta]

Man o' man, I think this is one of those things that needs to go into the pre-nup ;-).

Suhit

[Jason Dunn]

We have a general rule in our house that if it's under $100, there's no need to discuss it. If it's over that amount, a certain amount of "Ok, here's why I think we need this..." discussion occurs. With larger purchases such as TVs, my wife and I will discuss it for months, I'll bring her to see the TV I'm looking at, etc. I tend to use my wife as a sounding board for things that I want to buy, because she'll question me as to whether or not I really need it, and that is a good reality check for me. :-)

What I found silly about this article was that they more or less said outright that men don't care about aesthetics. That's not true in my case - I care as much about the colour/shape/size of my gear as I do about the performance metrics. I want BOTH to kick ass. :D

[Chris Gohlke]

Jason, I agree completely. I've always thought blue LED's were really cool looking. So, I have a running joke with some friends that no matter what the item is it must be OK if it has a cool blue light on it. Function is number 1, but looks are a close number 2.

[Jonathon Watkins]

My wife and I have a very similar arrangement to your Jason. We check with each other about purchases over £50. It works very wel for us. :D

[Crocuta]

My wife's great about this stuff. I discuss big purchases with her, not because I'm afraid she'll be angry but just because it affects her too. I'd expect the same consideration from her, though I must admit to being the instigator of most major purchases.

I was struck by the mention in the article of women liking plasma TV's because that's exactly how my wife was about them. I was looking at wide screen projection TV when we moved here last year at &lt;$2,000 and she was the one trying to urge me to get that big fancy $6,000 plasma. I couldn't believe that I was the one saying we should make the more modest purchase (usually her role). But it was just like they said. She loved the idea of it looking more like art and less like the huge box I ended up with. And she's right... the projection TV is ugly. In the end, I imagine the Projection TV will go down into the basement and we'll end up with a plasma for the living room, especially if prices go down.

I also agree with Jason that men care about how things look too. Some of those ideas of having the plasma slide up out of hardwood furniture or hidden behind a painting sound great. I'm willing to make the tradeoff of it being ugly to get the function if that's what it takes, but if I can have both, then I'm all over it.