I completely agree with your post. Profiles are a major hole in Windows Mobile. This is the one reason that
phoneAlarm is one of the first apps that I install onto my device. It doesn't cover everything you've got in your post but its a long way past WM out of the box. It has about 6 profiles that you can customize to your liking. It would also be nice if you could your own.
A diffinite wish list item would be to be able to set settings for individual applications in a profile.